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News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.

Hump Day odds & ends

Exit, Stage Right!
Exit, Stage Right!
Copyright 2014 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.The Associated Press
Wednesday, July 19, 2017 09:19 am

Heavens to Murgatroyd! I wish I were making this up or could discover that it's from a parody site. DC Comics is "re imagining" its creation Snagglepuss as “a gay Southern Gothic playwright," sort of like "a tragic Tennessee Williams figure."

I envision him like a tragic Tennessee Williams figure,” Russell said of his approach to Snagglepuss. “Huckleberry Hound is sort of a William Faulkner guy, they're in New York in the 1950s, Marlon Brando shows up, Dorothy Parker, these socialites of New York from that era come and go. I'm looking forward to it.”

[. . .]

The character Snagglepuss has long been presumed by some audiences to be gay . . . 

Gosh, I never presumed that. To me, he was just a gloriously absurd cartoon character who did and said goofy things. But then, I grew up in the era when comic books (the non superhero ones) were mainly supposed to be, you know, funny. Not relevant. Not socially aware. Not cutting edge. Funny.

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On the other hand, it makes perfect sense that the next Dr. Who will be a first of a kind, a woman, despite some of the fans who don't like the unexpected (in science fiction?) and are freaking out, and some of the moronic critics who are hailing it as a sign of progressive enlightenment or something. It makes sense in the context of the show, which is all anyone should care about: "Whenever Time Lords regenerate (aka die and come back), they become completely new characters with new personalities, quirks, and methods. Christopher Eccleston's Ninth Doctor was completely different from Tennant's Tenth Doctor, just like William Hartnell's First Doctor was different from Patrick Troughton's Second Doctor . . . It's also been established in Doctor Who lore that Time Lords can change genders when they regenerate. Doctor Who's chief antagonist, 'The Master,' was recast as 'The Mistress' or 'Missy,' a few years ago."

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Health care efforts by Republicans in Congress: Are they a bunch of idiots, or just the victims of a split in philosophy? Why can't they be both?

In the Senate, for example, we know there are strong conservatives, liberals so committed they ought to be Democrats, and "moderates" who can't seem to decide what they are. Certainly it can be difficult-to-impossible for such a diverse group to agree on anything, let alone something as complicated as Obamacare repeal-and-replace legislation. That reality would suggest we cut them a little slack.

But, dammit, these are the clowns who already voted for repeal, and sent it to President Obama in highly dramatic fashion. Of course they knew he would veto it, so it was very easy to stand on principle when they knew it wouldn't really cost them anything. And it was easy for them to promise solemnly, for seven years, through three election cycles, that getting rid of Obamacare root and branch was, honest to God, their top priority.

But now they have both houses and the presidency, and suddenly getting it done isn't such a priority? I don't see why we shouldn't all say to hell with them. There is no way to see this other than as an epic fail, and I think it's fair for conservative voters to start asking, "Why, exactly, should we put Republicans in office?" The answer they used to settle on, half-heartedly — "Well, at least they're not Democrats" — doesn't sound all that convincing any more.

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No, congressman, there is no evidence that Mars hosted an alien civilization thousands of years ago:

Nonetheless, Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, R-Calif., asked a panel of planetary scientists to speculate about this possibility today (July 18), during a hearing of the U.S. House of Representatives' Committee on Science, Space and Technology's Space Subcommittee.

he inquiry followed testimony by panelist Ken Farley, the project scientist for NASA's Mars 2020 rover mission, stating that the Red Planet had lakes and rivers, and perhaps even a huge northern ocean, until about 3.6 billion years ago. So it fell to Farley to answer the question of whether Mars was perhaps once home to intelligent aliens.

Obviously, we need a congressional panel to investigate this possibility. No evidence will be available, so no conclusion will be possible — it's the perfect congressional mission. Perhaps we can turn it over the the climate-change experts, since that's obviously what must have ended the Martian civilization.

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Yes, Don and Hillary are the names of two tropical storms that exist right now: "Tropical Storm Don is moving up and around the northern shore of South America, while a tropical depression in the Pacific Ocean develops. That storm is expected to be named Hilary sometime on Tuesday, according to the Washington Post." That's Hillary for you, falling behind as usual.

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Welcome to my world, kids: Millennials are going bald much faster than previous generations. "Theories include diet and health problems. But Moneyish.com didn't hesitate to conclude: 'Millennials are going bald from too much stress.' We live in a rich, safe, successful country. Why is there so much stress? Why do so many young people feel they are under siege and about to be overrun? Perhaps we should look at what public schools, in tandem with higher education and the media, tend to emphasize – namely, pessimism and vulnerability." Stress? Are you kidding me? Come back to 1968 when the streets were burning and Vietnam consumed us, and I'll show you stress.

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Exactly the group you thought would do it has taken the concept of the highway memorial to the absurd extreme: PETA is renting a billboard to pay tribute  to the cattle that were killed and injured last month when a semi tractor-trailer overturned on an Interstate 69 exit ramp near Muncie, Ind. No, I do not mock them. Instead I will join them, and give a little prayer of thanks while eating my next cheeseburger. Thank you, oh, great beast of the field, for your noble sacrifice.

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The New Yorker has a very good profile of George Strait, the most durable country singer out there  — 60 (!) No. 1 hits over the last several decades. Strait says the first thing he listens for in a song is a good tune, and he can tell one that's right for him within minutes of hearing it. That shows — you can't help singing along when you listen to him (go ahead with "Amarillo by Morning," I dare you). The article also features a brief but interesting history of the development of country music in America.

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Fort Wayne has made neither the list of 10 safest Indiana cities (led by Ligonier, Zionsville and Berne in the top three spots) nor the list of 10 most dangerous Indiana cities (topped by South Bend, Indianapolis and Clarksville just this side of the river from Louisville). The rankings are based on violent crimes per capita and property crimes per capita. I feel pretty safe in Fort Wayne, but there are places I wouldn't go after dark. Pretty middle of the road, just like the stats, I guess. 

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