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Cheap Shots: Chuck Norris has Tebow's back

Illustration by Ken Dutton for The News-Sentinel
Illustration by Ken Dutton for The News-Sentinel

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For more sports commentary, follow Reggie Hayes via Twitter at www.twitter.com/reggiehayes1
Copyright 2014 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.The Associated Press

If Jags don't listen to Norris, who will they listen to?

Tuesday, May 28, 2013 12:01 am
Tough guy Chuck Norris has come to the defense of Tim Tebow, leading a charge to campaign for Tebow to be signed by the Jacksonville Jaguars. “He reminds me of myself,” Norris said. That's true, except for the fact that Norris has a more natural throwing motion.Sources say the Jaguars are more likely to make Norris their inside linebacker, but they're a bit concerned about him being 73 years old.Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson was dismissed by the school, at least temporarily, due to what he calls “poor academic judgment.”

There's no truth to the rumor that it was the result of a term paper entitled, “A Guaranteed Five-Step Plan to Beat Alabama.”Speaking of Notre Dame, former coach Charlie Weis was paid more than $2 million in 2011 as part of a buyout that could eventually total nearly $19 million.

This just in: Charlie Weis might not be much of a college football coach, but he knows how to score.Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski will return to coach the U.S. men's national team. He had originally planned not to return for a third Olympics but then decided he likes the challenge of trying to turn LeBron James into a decent player.A lawsuit by two massage therapists, who sued Brett Favre over claims they lost work with the New York Jets after accusing Favre of inappropriate text messages, has been settled. Details of the settlement were not made public and Favre's checkbook was unavailable for comment.Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Ian Kennedy was forced to miss a start after cutting his finger while doing dishes last week. Diamondbacks manager Kirk Gibson said the team considered using glue on the finger to allow him to pitch, but somehow did not think of getting out the office stapler.

Finally, the team decided to allow Kennedy to continue with the natural healing and clubhouse razzing process.Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick said he believes he is still the fastest quarterback in the NFL, and would beat Robert Griffin III and Colin Kaepernick in a 40-yard dash if someone set up the race.

Notice that Vick did not offer to race Chuck Norris. Just saying.

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For more sports commentary, follow Reggie Hayes via Twitter at www.twitter.com/reggiehayes1


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