On my calendar (i.e. my life support system) there was written on the Oct. 17 square: “How to L. That’s it. No closed quote, nothing more. It’s like I was writing down something I had to do, and Ed McMahon had rung the doorbell and told me I had won the Publishers’ Clearing House Sweepstakes, and I had dashed out the door in ecstasy.
I was so perplexed. Where was I supposed to be at 10 a.m. on Oct. 17? I had horrible dreams of that date arriving with no clue of where I was supposed to be. Was I having surgery? (On my brain?) I was sure that if it was a dental appointment someone would call me the day before to remind me. OK. I could stay by the phone all day Oct. 16.
What else could it be that early in the day? Book club meets at night, and it couldn’t be a teacher’s conference because my children have all graduated. I think.
I could just picture it: I’d be sitting at attention on Oct. 17, showered and wearing “dress casual,” which seems to be good for just about anything nowadays. The phone would ring and an angry voice would shout at me, “Where in the world are you? We are waiting for you!”
Me (weakly): Oh, please remind me where you are?
Voice: You haven’t left yet? In just three minutes you are presenting a paper on the evolution of man through the cro-magnum period, exclusive of homo sapiens and vine tomatoes, and how to levitate through the opening of a key hole!
Me (brightening): Oh, that’s the How to L!
Voice: Are you on your way?
Me: Of course I’m on my way! Did you think I had forgotten?
Postscript (weeks later): Finally, something happened to joggle my brain. I walked past one of the books my daughter has written, and there it was: “How to Say No and Live to Tell About It.” Eureka!
I was to give a presentation to my church circle about that book! Could it be Oct. 17? Thankfully, the circle president didn’t chortle when I called her to “confirm” that was the date.
Whew! Now I can begin worrying about the note I have on Nov. 22 on my calendar. It says “45.” I hope 45 people aren’t coming for Thanksgiving dinner.