DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always wanted to live in Argentina to learn Spanish and soak in the culture. I feel confident about getting a job there, but I don’t know if my husband knows just how much I have been thinking about it. We spoke about my desire to move to another country before we got married three years ago and he was receptive, yet now I don’t think he’d want to move. We are still in our early 20s, so it feels like now is the time. How do I bring up the option of a move? I don’t want to be gone for long — two years at maximum. — Cordoba Dreams, BostonDEAR CORDOBA DREAMS: It’s very good that you introduced this idea to your husband before you got married. At least there is a precedent for the idea. You need to drum up the courage to state your dream. Start by reminding your husband of your desire to live in Argentina for a while. Tell him that it has been occupying a lot of your imagination and you want to think about it seriously before having kids (if you want them) and settling down entirely. Ask him if he would be willing to consider moving to Argentina for a while. Explore the idea, and suggest taking a vacation together there for starters. This is a way for both of you to check out Argentina and see if your idea will work.
Ultimately, you and your husband need to be on the same page as to whatever decision you make if you want to preserve your marriage. There is no one right answer. Every couple works out challenges together.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I want my internship to extend into a full-time job. I have been an intern at this company for six months, and I hope that they see potential in me, which is why they keep me around. Would it be presumptuous of me to ask my boss where they see this internship going? I don’t want to waste time as an intern when I could be applying for other jobs. — No Job Offer, CincinnatiDEAR NO JOB OFFER: Internships are designed to be opportunities for students to get on-the-job training in their field of interest. It can be like an apprenticeship. And it’s normal to think that there is potential for an internship to turn into a job, especially if the intern is about to be available — i.e., no longer in school.
By all means, go to your boss and pitch yourself for a full-time paid job at the company. Rather than asking where they see the internship going, tell them where you envision yourself within the organization. Pitch your skills and abilities, and remind your boss of specific examples of how you have helped the bottom line during your tenure as an intern. Ask directly if the company will consider you for a position in the coming months.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I accidentally emailed a client from my personal email, which sports a pretty embarrassing nickname as the username. I know this was a rookie mistake, and I plan to screen all of my emails before doing that again; however, I don’t know if I should apologize for how unprofessional it was for me to email the client from this email.
Should I apologize or ignore this mistake? I thought I should just move on, but my wife thinks I should apologize. — You’ve Got Mail, Portland, Oregon
DEAR YOU’VE GOT MAIL: I’m with your wife on this one. If your client received the email, he definitely saw the email address. If he kept the email, that address will show up time and again whenever he goes back to see that communication.
Get in front of this by telling him that you are terribly sorry that you sent a communication to him via this email. Admit that you pushed “send” too quickly, and it attached to an old personal email account. You should be the first one to laugh at yourself and your silly nickname. Drawing your client on board in a way that bonds the two of you is a good idea. Just do not belabor the point. Address it and move on.
Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or C/O Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.